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Sunday, 24 February 2013


The worst 24 hours of my life, was when one day, my husband and me had a massive fight, he left home, I was shattered and crying, called my friend up, she came.Since I had no money, I could not check myself into my regular private hospital, so we went to IMH, a government hospital.Now, I was used to staying in a great private hospital, had all the facilities, sharing the room with one other person.Individual rooms are not allowed there,the hospital's name is Mount Elizabeth, the best private hospital in Singapore.Somehow I had the impression that this hospital would be more or less like that.When we reached IMH, the doctor said that he would admit me at least until tomorrow, the doctors came every morning to visit patients.I was o.k with this fact, frankly, I was sick and tired of my BPD, just wanted to get better! We went up in the lift to the ward.There, I got the shock of my life! There was a huge room with about 100 women inside, screaming, crying, thumping on the windows, one had somehow managed to overturn her bed, she was tied to it! Her's was the only bed, there were chairs and a T.V.clamped on the wall.Outside, where I was, there was a girl all tied up in bed screaming loudly at her parents, saying awful things.I totallaly broke down! No way I wanted to go inside that room, yes, I had BPD but the women inside seemed much worser than me! I was very scared of them! I begged the nurse not to put me there, otherwise I would also become mad! She was very nice and said behave properly, there's a chance you could be discharged in the morning.I was taken to a room, made to strip, and given a gown to wear, then I was taken in the room.I kept quiet,was feeling scared if someone attacked me.Thank God no one noticed me! There was a clan,one lady asked why I was here, I told her the truth.I remember a very beautiful girl, sitting on a chair, totally drugged, when I asked the social worker she said she has violent outbursts of temper, so day in day out, she remains like a Zombie.I watched some T.V., then dinner time, then bedtime- 40 beds in one room.I kept my mouth shut, but inside I was in shock! Thank God morning came, I called Saad to come, he came and talked to the doctors and I was free to go! Never in my whole life I am going to forget those women, no one came to see them, they must have felt alone.My heart and prayers go out to them, God bless them.This was the first time in my life I bore everything patiently!

Thursday, 21 February 2013


A new day has started,
I have aged one more year!
Throughout my life I fought my private battles,
Went through excruciating fear,
Yet, this one year of my life has given me so much!
Gratitude, compassion, beyond belief, love for fellow human beings,
I sit beyond the garden, under a tree, near the wall of Ivy,
It is my secret place to be!
I pray the coming year brings many blessings from God,
For He is the One for me!
For a single tear, He has rewarded me with so much, I am awed!
If I multiply my tears, they run into thousands,
And, if I count my blessings, they are countless!, infinite!
Thank you God for believing in me,
Knowing my potential, my only wish is to save people from sadness and pain!
How happy I would be if that comes to be!
                                                        22.2.1970-22.2.2013-ONGOING{LOL}-UNTIL THE DAY, GOD CALLS ME!

Friday, 15 February 2013


Nearly all of us judge others, including me.I am working very hard to get rid of this habit.We all judge others based on their appearance, religion, whether they are gay,lesbian or straight, people with money and power are revered and looked up to.Do you know what they are from inside? They are people like us, they too feel sadness and pain, I do become upset if someone judges me, but now, I am accepting the fact that just because someone does'nt like me, it is their business, not mine.Why spend hours  thinking about them in a negative way,do not give anyone power over you! I choose to love myself with flaws and all! After all, no one is perfect.Perfection is a mere illusion, it doesn't exist.Being jealous and envious of others damages you, not the other person! There will always be people who are better than us in some ways.Rejoice in the fact that you are unique and absolutely worth it. Of course serial killers, murderers, etc, are not included- Lol! I hope to hear from you, what are your thoughts on this matter! Take care, God bless you all!

Wednesday, 13 February 2013


The way I love you is too hard to describe.
All I can say is you encompass my whole life,
Tears, unknown fears pervade my soul,
Will the worst happen in a day or year,
Unable to escape your hypnotic gaze,
I am forever under your spell, your tender ways,
Your beautiful smile, a pulsing cadence,
Inexplicable, on the cusp of receiving  your love,
Yet, it evades me enticing and forbidden, remaining elusive

Friday, 8 February 2013


Why do we forget that life is transitory,why all the hatred and negativity?
Be kind to someone today, spread smiles all around, positively,
Forgive the ones who have hurt us and done us wrong,
We have it in us, inside our souls, we are all strong,
Existence will pass by in the blink of an eye,
Love others, open your heart, do not be shy!

Monday, 4 February 2013


Wisdom.We all respect wise people.Wise quotes touch our hearts,We want to be wise.But nothing is in life is given on a platter.If you have noticed people with wisdom have led traumatic lives.People who experience pain, suffering and anguish,you already are on your way to attaining wisdom.You become humble, compassionate, relate to the pain of others, when your life is going down the drain.You pray to God! Rest assured that He listens to everyone's prayer, no prayer is wasted!When He feels you have become strong, compassionate, He answers your prayers! All of them!Meanwhile, be patient, keep on praying.Remember He is making you a strong person!For years I devoured self- help books to no effect.I desperately wanted to incorporate wisdom in my life, but it eluded me.Then a few months ago, wisdom came knocking at my door! I let it in! It has been an amazing experience.I accept the New Me, frankly speaking I am awed by my transformation! If you read self- help books then you are already on the correct path to attaining wisdom! If a wisdom quote touches your soul you are already there! I pray to God to grant wisdom to each and everyone of us!