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Thursday, 21 November 2013

STORY OF A SURVIVOR!

This poem is inspired by an old man who works at a petrol pump. He had lost an arm, yet he gave us a very cheerful greeting and looked content and happy, he even cleaned our car windows, without asking , he had such dignity and commanded  respect! I can never forget him! It is amazing to come across such brave individuals in my daily life!
His honest smile, his courageous face,
To handle life's obstacles, a smile on his face,
Truth is, he had only one arm,
Yet, never gave up his positivity, he can come to no harm,
Touched was I by his simplicity,
Dignity in his struggle to live life,
Always smiling and cheerful, giving his best shot,
Shrugging away the cloak of misery, embracing light.

MY MARRIAGE.

I was living a life full of dreams, endless possibilities,
My marriage was a match made by God,
After a while, my husband became a monster,
I endured countless beatings on my body,
I became weaker, unsure where to turn to for help,
This life sentence has no chance of parole,
I am trapped behind invisible bars,
I sometimes wish my end comes quickly, at least I do not have to suffer more,
I want to be free, like a butterfly,
Roam the night sky, see the drifting clouds,
Will God save me? I do not know the answer to this question,
My each and every moment is traumatized.

MY GILDED CAGE.

Days pass on, darkness descends,
Each day goes by, like a ticking bomb, inside my head,
My thoughts go on and on, infinite,
Trying to shut out my inner voice, I try to blank out,
Just to be free, free to be me,
To live totally, without judgement, without vice,
To be accepted as a human being,
I am like a bird in a gilded cage,
Flapping her wings, trying to fly.

THE PRICE WE PAY FOR ATTAINING WISDOM!

All human beings have the capacity to attain Wisdom.Some people learn early in life, some later, and some unfortunate ones, never!
People who are wise have one thing in common: they have undergone huge emotional loss, pain, heart break, a life changing  traumatic event, a chronic illness.Through their pain, they have emerged stronger, compassionate and wise. Enduring suffering is an event no one wants to go through, but it is an essential price to pay in order to achieve wisdom.
The first step towards healing is to accept our past, our mistakes and love ourselves- faults and all.Then only, we can truly love others.
Our experiences shape us to either bear our sorrows with patience or to become bitter and resentful. Patience is a key element here.To accept other people as they are, without judgement is the greatest step in attaining Wisdom.
No matter how many self- help books we read, nothing will sink in, until we ourselves are ready to absorb the knowledge listed there.
I feel that people who are wise can make a difference in this world, by being kind, compassionate,by providing hope to others.This is the greatest blessing of all! Life is a continuous cycle of growth and change. Being wise does not mean that our troubles will vanish,it simply means that we are well equipped to handle them.
Please do not give up hope! Your sorrows will one day become your strength, though you might not see it now.The very things which hold you down, might lift you up tomorrow! Remember, the people with the worst pasts sometimes end up with creating the best futures!

KARMA OR FATE?

I am feeling very emotional. In inspiring the world, I have lost myself, I inspire thousands, which is a great feeling, but how do I inspire myself? I feel confused, I am waging war on several fronts, I am terribly unhappy, because there is no one I can share my pain with. I am unable to understand one thing: Why do I need a man to love me? It is a burning need in me to be loved as a woman, yet , I am forever destined to have many men friends, with whom I do not feel a romantic connection with. Who do I share my pain with? I am counselling people individually, but where do I go , whom do I tell, that I am just a normal woman who has her battles? No one is caring enough for me. After thinking about this fact , I feel it is my fate- no one can change it! God has decided that I will remain alone forever, I cannot question Him why, I just accept His Destiny for me! I am very strong, very self- confident, but when it comes to matters of the heart, I fail! Several times! Finally, trying to accept that which I cannot change! It hurts though!

UNREQUITED LOVE.

In the midst of the twilight, I wake up,
Haunted by my inner demons, I feel like giving up,
Why did you enter my life, just to leave at first light?
Did you ever care about me, against your lust I still fight,
The memories are impossible to erase, I still recall your loving gaze,
Every thing is broke and twisted, every thing a haze,
I wish I had never met you, that you would have remained a stranger,
Just a friend, never a lover, out of my sight,
I wish I had protected myself from danger.

UNREQUITED LOVE-2

I thought we were meant to be together forever,

You said you would love  me for a million years,

Somewhere , along the way, you left me alone,

I was too shattered, there are no more words left to say,

Your eyes told your story, I saw myself in them,

Even , now, I am confused, what did I do wrong?

I want closure, I wish you had stayed away,

There is no sense in you leaving me, you say you still love me,

Yet, you have closed off your heart to something beautiful and enchanting.

I still have you in my heart, one day, you will become a fond memory,

Till that happens, I cry myself to sleep every night, you are everything I wanted for the first time,

Give me some hours to be at your side, to love you for a while,

Love has left a scar, no one can heal,

Only, I know, because my battered heart can feel.

MUSINGS.

Or will you remain a coward, a farce?When you were young, did you wonder,
How your life would turn out to be?
How will the moments of life affect you, will you laugh or cry?
Will you feel every emotion to the depth of your being?
Or will you shut out your inner fears?
Will be brave and courageous, loyal and steadfast,
Remember, life goes on, stops for nobody,
Live out days in the best of ways,
Come on, light the world, you always have your say!

TO MY SWEET FRIEND!

Whenever you feel like giving up,
Think of me, for I am always there,
An invisible presence, I hold your hand,
Aim sky high, my beautiful friend!
You are sweet, the nicest person I ever met,
I feel your pain, your eyes tell your story,
Every thing will work out in the end, do not worry!
Destiny brought us together, remember God tests us all,
The important thing is to keep going and never fall,
God loves you, He is always there, I love you, I will always care!

YOUR KARMA.

Is there really  nothing sacred any more?
Broken trust, shattered hope, moments of despair,
Finally, you have found some one else,
After leaving me broken hearted, an empty shell,
You were fake all along, I just did not see,
How capable you were, you deceived me, was never free,
Karma comes for us all, you will get what you deserve,
One day, you will cry and  will know in your heart  the reason why.

Thursday, 12 September 2013

SCARS

Lenghty the years a soul requires,
To journey through a life time of pain,
The anguished moment, the betrayal and  shame,
Heart wrenching sobs, somehow escape,
Disbelieving, taunting my numb brain,
Reality staring, unforgiving and bleak,
I stagger, stumble, I feel so weak,
Each tiny prick, each sigh and shudder,
My heart breaks in to a million pieces,
I am learning that there is no gain without pain,
The agonising truth all too plain,
Still, I hope,  to embrace the dawn, the sunlight,
For my scars to  fade away, one day.

Tuesday, 27 August 2013

MY FATE.

My fate is to lose in love every time. I am so confused that why it happens to me, so I asked my doctor about it. She said that there is no answer really, I just have to concentrate on my goals- to be a published author and keep on inspiring people. I sometimes feel that in inspiring others, I have lost a part of my self- especially my heart! People say, and I know that I am attractive, but my life has been in the hands of God- there is a strong sense of Destiny involved. God maybe does not want to me to find my true love? I am destined to be alone forever, yet, as a woman, I do need validation, someone to say he loves me, too many men have said it, but I simply can't fall for them, because I do not feel any thing for them! How can any one force oneself to fall in love? It is impossible. So, I had closed my heart forever, but 1 man managed to break my defenses. He is too busy for me, so I am intelligent enough not to pester him, I just let him be. I practice detachment from him, it requires great will power on my part, but I am succeeding. I find it very sad that I have lost him- no one is too busy if you love someone, you  will always find time for them- it's a matter of priorities. My heart is numb. I am tired of feeling pain, sick of crying, of the memories. I am sure though, that whatever God does is for the best, it is a blessing in disguise! I am just bearing whatever God is sending my way! When I think of the future, I feel scared, I do not want a long life, I don't want to live to a ripe old age! I feel like I am 100 years old already! The future seems hopeless, too vast, my strength is waning, but I have never complained to God and never will! I just wish that He comes for me and hold me in His arms! Now the tears are coming, I can't write any more! God bless you all with love and happiness! Amen!

Sunday, 25 August 2013

SUICIDE-REDEMPTION OR HELL?

I am very confused regarding the topic of committing suicide.I myself am a survivor of suicide, God knows how many times I tried to take my own life-yet, I always survived. Finally, it sank in my brain that God did not want me to die, He had a purpose for my life. At that time, I did not know why I was being saved time and time again. I was angry that God kept on punishing me with life. It seemed even death deserted me! I stopped trying to kill myself years back and promised myself that no matter how hard my life became, I would never attempt to kill myself. Now, I know why God kept me alive for so long- He wanted me to inspire people with broken hearts- through my thoughts and writings- my story has a name- I exist, I feel happiest when a stranger says that I provided him with hope and strength. Many people comment on my other sites too, their comments break me down, I am awed that a few words of mine can lift someone's spirit.
Recently, my 16year old daughter's friend committed suicide. Though I had never met her, she was Sumi's class mate, sat next to her. Sumi is in shock- she is not like me, she keeps herself closed up, never shares her feelings. She totally broke down, her school went to the girl's house, saw her body.Everyone is saying that she would not go to Heaven, even Sumi. I am very confused: Religion says that people who commit suicide are sinners. I, as a human being, know myself, that nobody wants to die, except when they lose hope, feel extremely lonely and depressed- they have no hope in their lives- nothing to cling on to, so, some people succeed, others fail. I do not advocate suicide at all.This life is a gift from God- so we have to distract ourselves when the need to self- harm arises, we all have a mission on Earth- we have to find it- it could take years. God knows our potential, we get to know only after a while. I prayed for that child, I begged God to forgive her. I as a human being can and do understand the people who passed away at their own hands. I asked God to help me understand why they go to Hell? I am no one to question God, but I need an answer, I can't find one- yet.

FRAGMENTED REMAINS.

The pain remains, the blaze of a burning fire.
I am a slave to his every whim and desire,
Am I lost somewhere, where I just want to expire,
Where has my life gone, all these years,
Putting up with him has given rise to new fears,
I am nothing, a nobody, just an obedient slave,
Who can't even breathe in this stifling atmosphere.
I just want to leave every thing behind,
I want to forget I ever existed,
Gave birth to three souls, they prey on my mind,
Will a mother's love ever die? Will I ever be able to erase my present life?

THE LIGHT.

One day in my life,
I finally learned to live,
Troubles, despair, pain,
The darkest of oceans, the darkest night,
Taught me to be humble, patient and polite.
Among a sea of forces, countless sighs, magically a flower bloomed,
A single flame managed to light the gloom,
At least it flickered, showed me the way,
It was never too dark a place that a candle could not light.
So, I accepted my sorrows, finally I am living my new life.

THE BOND

Finally, the bond is broken, yet, I am alive,
Feeling vibrant, happy and alive,
Your hold over me shattered once and for all,
As strangers we part, because I answered my call,
You were a coward, inhumane and dead,
How many tears over you, I shed.
My heart is closed towards you till eternity,
You cannot escape your reckoning, it is part of your destiny.

Thursday, 8 August 2013

FRAGMENTED REMAINS.

The pain remains, the blaze of a burning fire.
I am a slave to his every whim and desire,
Am I lost somewhere, where I just want to expire,
Where has my life gone, all these years,
Putting up with him has given rise to new fears,
I am nothing, a nobody, just an obedient slave,
Who can't even breathe in this stifling atmosphere.
I just want to leave every thing behind,
I want to forget I ever existed,
Gave birth to three souls, they prey on my mind,
Will a mother's love ever die? Will I ever be able to erase my present life?

Friday, 26 July 2013

MY BEING.

Who am I ? What am I becoming?
My personality is changing!
I feel scared of the new inner me,
Why is God blessing me so much?
What did I ever do to deserve His love?
I try to search for answers within, I become confused,
Am I too precious in His eyes?
I feel He has touched my soul, saved me from Hellfire,
My head bows down to only Him, He will always be cherished in my soul, He will remain truly Alive!

Friday, 19 July 2013

OCEAN.

The human spirit is a vast ocean,
Covering millions of miles,
Some are struggling, in pain and suffering,
Trying to find an inner meaning in their troubled life.
Even, if we let one wave in,
The windows to our soul will open,
Gradually the flood will arrive, the demons of the past broken,
It takes patience, never lose the faith inside.
You will finally arrive at your destination,
Free from the world's opinion, what an incredible sensation!

Wednesday, 10 July 2013

MY ANGEL FROM HEAVEN!

An illusion, a fantasy, a delusion or reality,
Who are you is beyond my capability,
All I know is that you exist in my heart,
I crave your touch, it is a journey I want to embark,
Beyond love, no boundaries  between you and I,
God lead me to you, I do not know why,
A part of me is scared that you will be gone too soon,
That I will be left empty, looking at the night sky without the moon,
It is already too late, I cannot stop loving you,
You have become my destiny, my twisted fate.

Saturday, 6 July 2013

LOVE- COMPLICATED!

Love is our basic human need.We need to be loved since the day we are born and the day we finally close our eyes.During our younger years, we end up with a lot of broken relationships and shattered dreams.Even, in marriage , love is not guaranteed.The key to lasting love is based on the following facts:
1-Accept your partner- faults and all-He is not you.If you spend your energy trying to change him, then you will lose the battle. No person changes because we want them to, they only change if they really want to do it with their heart.
2-Respect your partner and receive respect in return.
3-Be caring, when he is stressed out, take out time to just listen, without judgement, sometimes there is no need for advice- we all need someone to accept our feelings .
4-Trust each other.Never lie to your partner, if the trust gets broken, it can be difficult to build again.
REALITY:
The reality is that there is no happily ever after-Making a relationship work is a lifetime work in progress.We all grew up on fairy tales, in which the prince and princess lived happily ever after! Our thinking is groomed up that way.Let go of this notion and step into real life!

Sunday, 30 June 2013

THE LIGHT

It's never too dark a place  that a small candle can't light,One day in my life, I finally learned to live,
It took a long time,I was 42,
Troubles, snags, despair, pain,
Darkest ocean and the darkest night,
Taught me to be humble, patient and polite.
A sea of forces, countless souls,whispered the word of hope,
A single flame managed to  light the gloom,
At least it flickered, showed the way,
So, I accepted my sorrows and now I am living a new life.

Thursday, 20 June 2013

TO MY LOVE!

You stole my heart with just one look,
Our souls go centuries bound in a streaming brook,
I identify with your pain, I have similar feelings too!
I want to hold you in my arms forever and keep on loving you,
You are my dazzling star, constantly shining on the horizon,
Oh! What a strange relationship between you and me,
It has no name, we do not have a future together,
Yet, to feel you close in my heart, as we dance together the dance of joy,
One stolen moment, is all I want from you!
Just one kiss, an embrace and I would feel whole again,
Destiny dictates that we stay apart!
Still, these feelings keep on coming in my heart!

Tuesday, 11 June 2013

MY JOURNEY TOWARDS WISDOM-PART -2

From that moment on, my life changed dramatically. I became a very compassionate and kind person.I started blessing random people whom I met in my every day life, my net friends.Till today, I pray for all Humanity, every day.I accept other people without judgement.I forgave my enemies and moved on.I developed patience while interacting with people and in my every day life.It is a strange fact that when I tried to seek wisdom, it eluded me, but when I had given up hope, wisdom came to me in torrents!
Now, I am continuously learning new positive things every day.Life teaches many lessons, provided we are willing to learn from them.I gain inspiration from seeing people in trouble, handicapped or old and sad world events.Even sign boards which I cone across while I am driving, inspire me!I understand their hidden meaning and learn from them!
So, in a nutshell this is my life which I have shared with you all. I find my story incredible and  feel amazed that it happened to me!God has redeemed me in so many ways!20 years of pain are replaced by 1 year of intense happiness , joy and contentment.
I pray to God to bless everyone, lessen your burdens,may you all see your personal rainbow coloring your sky Sadness and joy are the cycles of life, we all go through this process.Never give up on life, who knows your miracle might be around the corner
THE QUESTION I WANT TO ASK IS THIS:
If I made it, despite so many set backs, can't you?
Thank you for taking the time to read my story.I hope you gained inspiration out of it.It will make me feel blessed to know that I inspired you through my words- Love and peace to all!

MY JOURNEY TOWARDS WISDOM- PART 1

All my life, I have been searching for an achievement to call my own. Due to the fact that I was constantly abused and put down, called mad by Saad, I ended up believing him.-my self- esteem shattered.At first, I used to think that God had done a mistake for giving me life.I used to wonder how much worthless I was, I felt horrible.I felt depressed for a long time.I read many self- help books during that time in the hope that at least some positive facts will sink in, all to no avail.
Then, a miracle happened.Last year, I forgave Saad truly from my heart for all the hurt he had caused me.I also forgave myself for my imperfections and accepted my past events. For the first time in my life in my life I felt an incredible peace descend upon me.Then, a miracle happened.Last year, I forgave Saad truly from my heart for all the hurt he had caused me.I also forgave myself for my imperfections and accepted my past events. For the first time in my life in my life I felt an incredible peace descend upon me. It took a lot of crying, but finally, I was ready to start the next chapter of my life.I let go of all the anger, bitterness and resentment festering in my heart.

Saturday, 1 June 2013

MY EYES!

So many people on all my sites have commented about my eyes, so I wrote the following poem.Are my eyes full of pain or hope? I do not know myself, but I have written my thoughts about them!

My eyes have something about them,
Difficult to explain, yet full of wisdom,
They have seen an eternity of darkness,
I have shed a million tears in detail and sharpness,
I have experienced the depths of despair.
My eyes, the window to my soul,
It is a strange fact, they make me whole.
Torrid rivers, freezing glaciers, the shattering of broken dreams and fears,
I stumble and fall, yet I pick myself up everytime,
This journey is still left incomplete, I look forward to shine,
See my eyes, they are still full of hope, a radiant light,
You know me, we are connected, in my heart, you always shine bright.
                                                                                                  TAZEIN

Sunday, 26 May 2013

THE BIGGEST TEST OF PATIENCE

The biggest test of patience when we are going through troubled times.It is very easy to blame others for putting us in this situation, but this type of thinking leaves us bitter and resentful.Take a bold step: forgive those who have wronged you, accept them as they are, because people do not change, unless they really want to.Meanwhile, have courage, the pain may seem to last for ages, but be patient, keep your faith strong and pray to God to relieve your pain.Remember, we all go through cycles of pain and joy.The patience you develop while suffering will one day, turn into intense joy- it will take time, but never give up hope! There will be many years of happiness coming your way if you try this formula.Believe me, it has worked for me- it will definitely work for you too! Good luck, sending you a ton of prayers!

Saturday, 18 May 2013

PATIENCE- THE ULTIMATE VIRTUE!

Patience is the ultimate test which life keeps on showing us.Nearly all people are impatient, everybody is in a big rush, we want everything instantly, if something does not go our way, we blame others for it.Patience teaches us lessons every day.Imagine this scenario:
1-Standing in a long queue:
We become upset, angry.
Answer: Hum your favorite song, think about something which made you smile, while waiting!
2-Stuck in a traffic jam:
We become impatient.
Answer: Listen to songs on your CD player and smile!
3-Things not working out our way:
We become upset, spend hours worrying why they don't.
Answer:Accept your situation, you did your best, move on, if it is meant to be, things will eventually work out!
4-On net sites, not getting the number of followers we desire:
We become depressed, thinking we are doing something wrong!
Answer:Wait, everything takes time, nothing happens instantly.You will gain followers, give gratitude to the people already following you, keep on posting good content.
5-Checking our mobile phone constantly, waiting for that important phone call or message:
We become desperate willing the other person to contact us asap.
Answer:Relax, let it go, detach yourself, even if a reply does not come, do not be sad, move on!
In all of the above situations, life is teaching us to learn patience, provided we are willing to learn! Life will keep on giving us lessons, until we learn from them.

Friday, 10 May 2013

POWER- MY DEFINITION!

How would you define power? We associate power with people who are celebrities, media kings, millionaires, etc.We look up to them, which is human nature.
For me, the ultimate power is the power of our soul.It is so powerful, if only we keep our faith strong continuously fight on and never give up on our dreams! We have the power to change our thoughts, the power to take a stand about something we strongly believe in, the power to continue believing in our Destiny, even during troubled times.
We are all powerful in our own unique ways!Money does not define power.So many powerful , rich people are leading very unhappy lives,so many celebrities either commit suicide or take drugs.Why? Fact is they too , are human, they have feelings like the rest of us.Money alone cannot satisfy people.We all need someone to love and accept us unconditionally.In the end, we are all human beings, we are all connected!
The true test of power is: When God gives you power, do you stay humble or become arrogant?Do you start abusing the power given to you?Do you start  thinking you are the best and glorify yourself?
If God gives power, He can easily take it away, very easily! Therefore, offer gratitude to Him every day, for God has blessed you with power! Your power will increase more with time if you do not become haughty!
                                                                                                                     TAZEIN.

Saturday, 4 May 2013

MY DEFINITION OF LOVE!

What is the definition of love? Most people assume love as romantic love, but love is much more than that.Love encompasses loving your family, friends, and the most important love  definition for me- the love for Humanity! I pray for people whom I do not know on a personal level, they come from the net, or the people I meet randomly in my real life.Envy and jealously are two words which do not exist in my dictionary!I have personally experienced that the more love you give to others, the more you receive.God loves people who pray for others with their hearts,only He can see what lies within our souls.One important thing is to forgive people who have wronged you, even if they are your worst enemies!By forgiving them, you do yourself a favor.Do not give Power to those people by letting their words or actions impact on your mind.Forgive truly with your heart, say a silent prayer, bless them with love and happiness and move on in your life.Focus on the positive people around you.You will see a remarkable change in your life! You will attain inner peace and contentment- which is priceless!God will bless you many times over! This is my secret, this is what I do.Pause and reflect- love always wins in the end.This is an eternal truth!
                                                                                                            TAZEIN
                                                                                                               5.4.2013. 

Sunday, 28 April 2013

DEDICATED TO MY FRIEND!

You shy away from the limelight,
All your life, you have put up a great fight,
Yet, I can see the flame burning within,
A beautiful halo, a person who cares and shares, who is not shallow,
You are fighting your inner demons,
Believe that God holds you in His Embrace,
With Him by your side, all your battles with dignity, you will face!
                                                                                                 TAZEIN
                                                                                                 28.12.2012.

Thursday, 25 April 2013

TO MY ENEMY- I FORGIVE YOU!


Though my heart shattered into a million pieces,I lost my positive vibe,
Yet, today, I made an effort and chose to forgive you,
For you too are a human being, why should I detest you?
May your path be enlightened with beautiful fairies,
You gain a lot of smiles and climb the highest prairies,
Who am I to judge you, but I know you being is broken,
In the end, it was never about you and me, It was an unfortunate incident,
May you  reach higher places.
TAZEIN
25.4.2013.
Someone defamed me yesterday on another site , put up my link posted in public.I was lucky I was online, immediately blocked and reported her- the whole day, my tears never stopped.I never hurt this person, but after a few hours I thought to myself that I do not want to have these negative feelings towards her, so I forgave her, cried a lot, asked God to give her every happiness.I feel much better now!

Friday, 19 April 2013

FREEDOM!

I soar like an eagle, unfettered , unchained,completely free,
I cherish the wind at my back,
The soaring skies, the kaleidoscope,
All my troubles have magically melted away,
This is the best period of my life, I say,
To inspire you is my biggest goal,
I am not looking back, at last I am Whole!
                                                                      TAZEIN

Thursday, 11 April 2013

MY WORLD- FROM MY SOUL TO YOURS!

The world is waiting with bated breath,
For inspirational thoughts to awaken in my head,
Blessed am I, people give me so much respect!
Dear friends, your love is awesome,
You are precious, in my prayers,
I have won so many accolades!
                                                                  TAZEIN
                                                                  19.10.2012.

Thursday, 4 April 2013

THE BITS AND PIECES OF MY LIFE!

Once upon a time there was a girl,
Whose life was filled with joy and laughter,
Colorful rainbows stained her sky,
She never stopped to question why.
Suddenly, the storm gathered on her horizon,
Flashes of lightning hit her being,
She broke down and cried, lost her lovely smile.
The pain was too much for her to bear,
She wanted someone, who would love her and hear,
So, she turned to God and prayed that her world be alive again,
God chose to listen to her broken dreams and magically appeared!
Now, her life is filled with contentment and bliss,
She is born again, survived to tell her story and inspire!
                                                                                             TAZEIN
                                                                                              5.4.2013.

Friday, 29 March 2013

REALITY- UNPLUGGED!

I want to curl up like a foetus,
Block out the world around me,
Not to feel anything, to close my eyes for a long time,
I am hurting, paying for my past crimes,
Just feel the numbness of an unknown drug, coursing through my veins,
Shut out reality, hide all my fears, tinged with regret, my past.
I want God to take away all my sadness, my only prayer, an impossible hope, my barren, so vast.
                                                                                                           TAZEIN

Sunday, 24 March 2013

TO THOSE DEAR PRECIOUS FRIENDS WHO FEEL THEY ARE NOT WORTH IT, FEEL ALONE AND DEPRESSED- A SPECIAL MESSAGE FROM ME!


The woman you see before had a terrible past.
Facts:
1-I have Borderline Personality Disorder, though completely cured now! I suffered each and every symptom of this illness.
2-I tried to commit suicide more than 15 times, yet always survived.In the end I gave up! What was the use, God kept on giving me life!
3- I am a survivor of physical abuse , though now o.k. since 10 years.
4-I am a survivor of mental abuse, always told my life was worthless, hear it even now, but I do not let it affect me!
I survived! I am a very blessed and contented person now, I aim to inspire everyone- this is my life's mission!I Iove life, I love myself, accept myself , and have forgiven the person who abused me,The peace that comes with forgiving the person who abused you is awesome! I have started working on my book.I have never felt more alive! I have so much to accomplish, I hope I finish my book and get it published.
If I can survive, can't you? Maybe your story is much worse than mine , maybe better.Live each day, cherish it, we don't know how long we are alive, so make each second count,I have already shared my life story here and on my blogs,they are public, you can read them to gain inspiration!
Good luck my dearest friends!

Saturday, 23 March 2013

MY JOURNEY!

I am alone in this journey of life,
Walking the path seldom traveled, filled with strife,
I need a shoulder to cry on, I need love along the way,
Yet, I see no one there for me,
I am tired of dragging myself along,
Just want to give in, to whom do I belong?
Yet, I will never stop this ride,
Ultimately, it will turn out to be my paradise!
                                                                        TAZEIN
                                                                           20.3.2013.

Wednesday, 20 March 2013

WHO AM I?


Who am I, what is the purpose of my existence?
This question remains in my heart with great persistence,
I see myself in random people,
In a beautiful flower, a towering mountain, the scenic nature,
My whole life is based on searching for the correct answers,
Finally, I realized that I was meant to inspire people, and love them,
There are still momentous events in my life story still, left to be shared, left behind,
I am grateful for each New Day
Somehow, I know I will make my own way!
                                                                                                       TAZEIN
                                                                                                             20.3.2013.

Sunday, 10 March 2013

MY LOVE STORY-PART ONE!

I loved you yesterday, I love you today,
Hold me in your arms,otherwise I will surely fade away!
We had our disagreements, I shed a million tears,
Yet, I cherish you in my heart,
You are the reason of my being,
My beloved sweetheart!
May we see the light of tomorrows,
Our days filled with love, sometimes tinged with sorrow.
I want to grow old at your side,
Never want to leave your embrace,
Sometimes. I feel insecure and cry,
The minute you touched me, all my defenses crumbled by,
Thank you for being there , for your care,
I feel not alone, You are in my heart and soul,literally in my prayers!
TAZEIN
11.3.2013

MY FRIEND!

You shy away from the limelight,,
All you like, you have put up a great fight!
Yet, I can see flame burning within.
A beautiful halo, a person who cares and shares, who does not shatter.
You are fighting your personal demons
Believe that God holds you in His Embrace,
With Him by your side, all your battles with dignity you face!
                                                                                         TAZEIN
                                                                                           11.3.2013.

Friday, 8 March 2013

YOUR SOUL!-MY PRAYER FOR YOU!-THANK YOU FOR YOUR GREAT SUPPORT!

  
I want to wipe the tears off your eyes,
And replace them with a beautiful smile!
I want to hold your hand when you are broken down,
I want to forever remain your friend, through the highs and lows,
I want to embark on your journey, as we travel through time, letting it flow,
Together, my support for you will never waver!
You can trust me, a request from me, a humble favor!
                                                                                       TAZEIN
                                                                                      9.3.2013.    

Saturday, 2 March 2013

YOUR STORY!


Behind a thousand smiles,
I see flashes of tears,
Picture perfect poses, filled with joy,
But, underneath, true fears,
Your face tells a story, of what you went through,
Try as you might, I can feel your vibes, it is true!
Sadness, pain, regret, your eyes are the windows to your soul.
However hard you try, you yearn for true happiness, valid goals.
                                                                          TAZEIN
                                                                            29.1.2013.

Sunday, 24 February 2013

24 HOURS SPENT IN IMH HOSPITAL-SINGAPORE-APRIL 2007


The worst 24 hours of my life, was when one day, my husband and me had a massive fight, he left home, I was shattered and crying, called my friend up, she came.Since I had no money, I could not check myself into my regular private hospital, so we went to IMH, a government hospital.Now, I was used to staying in a great private hospital, had all the facilities, sharing the room with one other person.Individual rooms are not allowed there,the hospital's name is Mount Elizabeth, the best private hospital in Singapore.Somehow I had the impression that this hospital would be more or less like that.When we reached IMH, the doctor said that he would admit me at least until tomorrow, the doctors came every morning to visit patients.I was o.k with this fact, frankly, I was sick and tired of my BPD, just wanted to get better! We went up in the lift to the ward.There, I got the shock of my life! There was a huge room with about 100 women inside, screaming, crying, thumping on the windows, one had somehow managed to overturn her bed, she was tied to it! Her's was the only bed, there were chairs and a T.V.clamped on the wall.Outside, where I was, there was a girl all tied up in bed screaming loudly at her parents, saying awful things.I totallaly broke down! No way I wanted to go inside that room, yes, I had BPD but the women inside seemed much worser than me! I was very scared of them! I begged the nurse not to put me there, otherwise I would also become mad! She was very nice and said behave properly, there's a chance you could be discharged in the morning.I was taken to a room, made to strip, and given a gown to wear, then I was taken in the room.I kept quiet,was feeling scared if someone attacked me.Thank God no one noticed me! There was a clan,one lady asked why I was here, I told her the truth.I remember a very beautiful girl, sitting on a chair, totally drugged, when I asked the social worker she said she has violent outbursts of temper, so day in day out, she remains like a Zombie.I watched some T.V., then dinner time, then bedtime- 40 beds in one room.I kept my mouth shut, but inside I was in shock! Thank God morning came, I called Saad to come, he came and talked to the doctors and I was free to go! Never in my whole life I am going to forget those women, no one came to see them, they must have felt alone.My heart and prayers go out to them, God bless them.This was the first time in my life I bore everything patiently!

Thursday, 21 February 2013

ONE MORE YEAR GRANTED FROM GOD!


A new day has started,
I have aged one more year!
Throughout my life I fought my private battles,
Went through excruciating fear,
Yet, this one year of my life has given me so much!
Gratitude, compassion, beyond belief, love for fellow human beings,
I sit beyond the garden, under a tree, near the wall of Ivy,
It is my secret place to be!
I pray the coming year brings many blessings from God,
For He is the One for me!
For a single tear, He has rewarded me with so much, I am awed!
If I multiply my tears, they run into thousands,
And, if I count my blessings, they are countless!, infinite!
Thank you God for believing in me,
Knowing my potential, my only wish is to save people from sadness and pain!
How happy I would be if that comes to be!
                                                        TAZEIN
                                                        22.2.1970-22.2.2013-ONGOING{LOL}-UNTIL THE DAY, GOD CALLS ME!

Friday, 15 February 2013

LIFE LESSON 2- JUDGING OTHERS!


Nearly all of us judge others, including me.I am working very hard to get rid of this habit.We all judge others based on their appearance, religion, whether they are gay,lesbian or straight, people with money and power are revered and looked up to.Do you know what they are from inside? They are people like us, they too feel sadness and pain, I do become upset if someone judges me, but now, I am accepting the fact that just because someone does'nt like me, it is their business, not mine.Why spend hours  thinking about them in a negative way,do not give anyone power over you! I choose to love myself with flaws and all! After all, no one is perfect.Perfection is a mere illusion, it doesn't exist.Being jealous and envious of others damages you, not the other person! There will always be people who are better than us in some ways.Rejoice in the fact that you are unique and absolutely worth it. Of course serial killers, murderers, etc, are not included- Lol! I hope to hear from you, what are your thoughts on this matter! Take care, God bless you all!

Wednesday, 13 February 2013

MY SECRET VALENTINE!

The way I love you is too hard to describe.
All I can say is you encompass my whole life,
Tears, unknown fears pervade my soul,
Will the worst happen in a day or year,
Unable to escape your hypnotic gaze,
I am forever under your spell, your tender ways,
Your beautiful smile, a pulsing cadence,
Inexplicable, on the cusp of receiving  your love,
Yet, it evades me enticing and forbidden, remaining elusive
                                                                                      TAZEIN
                                                                                       14.2.2013.

Friday, 8 February 2013

EXISTENCE!

         
Why do we forget that life is transitory,why all the hatred and negativity?
Be kind to someone today, spread smiles all around, positively,
Forgive the ones who have hurt us and done us wrong,
We have it in us, inside our souls, we are all strong,
Existence will pass by in the blink of an eye,
Love others, open your heart, do not be shy!
                                                                                 TAZEIN
                                                                                9.2.2013.

Monday, 4 February 2013

LIFE LESSON-1 THE PRICE WE PAY FOR WISDOM!


Wisdom.We all respect wise people.Wise quotes touch our hearts,We want to be wise.But nothing is in life is given on a platter.If you have noticed people with wisdom have led traumatic lives.People who experience pain, suffering and anguish,you already are on your way to attaining wisdom.You become humble, compassionate, relate to the pain of others, when your life is going down the drain.You pray to God! Rest assured that He listens to everyone's prayer, no prayer is wasted!When He feels you have become strong, compassionate, He answers your prayers! All of them!Meanwhile, be patient, keep on praying.Remember He is making you a strong person!For years I devoured self- help books to no effect.I desperately wanted to incorporate wisdom in my life, but it eluded me.Then a few months ago, wisdom came knocking at my door! I let it in! It has been an amazing experience.I accept the New Me, frankly speaking I am awed by my transformation! If you read self- help books then you are already on the correct path to attaining wisdom! If a wisdom quote touches your soul you are already there! I pray to God to grant wisdom to each and everyone of us!
                                                                             TAZEIN
                                                                         4.2.2013.