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Monday, 13 January 2014


Have you ever felt your own spirit? It is a very strange feeling, like some one is standing very close to you! I have felt my spirit several times. I imagine it holding me, when I am sad, comforting me, I feel it stronger than me! It is a strange feeling that won't go away!  A part of me wants to leave this world so that I can unite with my spirit. Honestly speaking, I do not want to live long- when I see the next 5 years, I break down! I do not know how am I going to manage to continue living for that long. I am depressed, because I have been forced by my husband to stay in the house, I quit my job last year to concentrate on writing.There is nothing to look forward to now- the kids have their own life, my husband is busy in his job, I am finding it difficult to survive! My spirit tells me that every thing will be all right, but I am very tired of dragging myself along since the last 19 years.Why does God want me to live when I sincerely pray to Him to kill me in an accident, or, whatever! I pray never to open my eyes again! Yes, this life is a gift, but not for me- My life is spent, I did what I wanted to do, now there is noting left except shattered dreams.

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